just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
