hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
