what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
