i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
