It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
