So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
