Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
