God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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