It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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