In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
