nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
