please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
