I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
