I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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