Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
