We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
