What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
