i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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