Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
