I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
