season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
