I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
