I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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