She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
