Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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