Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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