so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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