I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
