Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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