Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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