nutella sex= disaster
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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