So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize