come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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