He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
