if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize