Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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