I can text with my tongue
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
