return my video game
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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