i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
