According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
honey bunches of taint.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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