Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
