So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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