Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
