I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it's like iHOP with fire
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
