I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This is the prime rib incident all over again
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize