K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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