we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
