Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
