I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
