I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
either way he was missing a nipple.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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