Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
