I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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