i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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