My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
