I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
