A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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