a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
