I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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